A threesome can be one of the most memorable sexual experiences a couple can have, but it’s important to make sure it’s a pleasurable experience for all involved.
A lot of people find themselves feeling jealous or intimidated by the idea of a threesome, especially if they’re already in a relationship. So it’s vital to talk about your fantasies with your partner before you initiate it.
1. Get the consent of all involved
If you’re going to initiate a threesome, it’s crucial to get the consent of all involved. Not only will this protect everyone, but it will also ensure that the experience is safe and enjoyable.
The best way to do this is to discuss it in advance with your partner. It’s important to understand why they want a third, and what they’re expecting from the experience.
Once you’ve decided on the people you want to have a threesome with, approach them slowly and cautiously. This can be tricky, but if you’re willing to put in the work, it can lead to something magical.
2. Have a safe word in place
When you’re bringing in a third person to your bedroom, it’s important to have a safe word in place. This means that if you and your partner are uncomfortable with the threesome, one of you can say the safe word and the other won’t be left behind.
Depending on who’s involved, the safe word could be something like “doorstopper.”
It’s up to you and your third to decide what that means for the experience, but it can make it easier for everyone.
In addition, it’s important to keep all of the necessities close at hand, such as condoms and sex toys. Having them at arms’ reach ensures that you can quickly switch out condoms or lube when needed.
3. Be clear about what you want
A threesome can be a great way to experience sex with someone you love, but it’s important to be clear about what you want. Ask your partner if they are interested in trying something new and see if you are both on the same page.
If your partner says no, try asking them again in a more positive light or give them some time to think about it. If they say yes, then it’s definitely worth a shot, but be sure to check in with them once you have the threesome.
After the threesome is over, it’s a good idea to do a quick debrief with your partners so you can discuss what worked and didn’t work for each of you. This will help alleviate any jealousy or awkwardness.
4. Don’t overdo it
If you are in a long-term relationship and your partner has not consented to having a threesome, it is best to leave the idea alone. Otherwise, it can be a pitfall that could break your trust bond.
Having a threesome can be a great way to spice up the sexual intimacy in your relationship, but it needs to be done sensibly. If you overdo it, you may not get the kind of satisfaction you had hoped for.
This is a big reason why it’s so important to talk about your desire for a threesome before getting started. Hopefully, this will allow both of you to decide whether or not it is something that you truly want and are willing to make sacrifices for. This is also a good time to have a conversation about safe sex and any barriers you might need for protection.
5. Don’t be afraid to ask
When it comes to getting started with threesomes, you don’t have to be afraid to ask questions. This is an important step because it can help you connect with your partner, expand your thinking and learning, and build your capabilities.
As long as you are on the same page about what kind of threesome you want to have and what you expect from each other, a healthy threesome is pretty much guaranteed to bring excitement, closeness, and pleasure to your relationship.
It is also worth noting that there are lots of different reasons people choose to have threesomes, from ticking off a fantasy to levelling the score with an unfaithful partner. Dr Ryan Scoats, who published a study on threesomes last year, found that many of the participants were driven by curiosity, openness, confidence in themselves and in others, adequate communication, the ability to adapt, previously agreed on rules, and a sense of belonging.